Do Not Be Anxious

I woke up at 7 something this morning. The house was dark and quiet and my parents were still asleep so I decided to just stay in my room and lay in bed. After a few minutes of my thoughts going wild and getting out of control I decided to try to chill out and spend some time with the Lord. I ended up picking up the book Calm My Anxious Heart which I thought I talked about in my last post, but apparently not. I read chapter two which is called Content with Circumstances. I knew this was going to be a hard one for me. How the heck am I supposed to be content with my current circumstance? A short exercise from the chapter said to make a list of all the positive and negative aspects of circumstances that God has allowed in your life at this time. I jotted down a few things and read the next question. Which list do you dwell on most? I came to the conclusion that the most honest answer would be the negative list. It's easier to just list off the negatives and feel sorry for myself and ask God "Why why why??" but the whole point of the exercise is to help us realize that our focus needs to change. And in doing that, we can start down the road of learning how to be content. At this point, there is a big part of me that doesn't even want to be content. I want to have my pity party, be upset at God and at myself and wallow in that. But what good is that going to do for me? How much better would it be to give the Lord my anxious thoughts and thank him for the positive things in my life? This will make me a much happier person. And really, thinking about it, I want to cry. Maybe it's too soon after everything to try to be content in my circumstances. I don't want to be. I still need my time to grieve and wrap my head around it all. I'm really going to need the Lord's help to keep my focus on the positive things in my current situation and to learn how to be content with that.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6