It's time to write something deep, meaningful, interesting. Any or all of the above hopefully haha
I just got back from a run, same route I've taken the last two days but instead I ran in the morning. I realized that the last two nights I have stayed up way later and been restless in the early morning hours. Now I'm not sure if this is directly related to running in the evening, but I'm testing it out anyway. So I went for a run/walk this morning and I am hoping that it energizes me for the rest of the day. That's what someone told me before. Never run or work out at night because you waste the energy that your body gets after working out because you end up sleeping soon after. Something like that. So I am trying the morning. I left around nine which was wayy to late, but it was only 76, so the temperature was still comfortable.
I took off and headed onto the busy street right off of mine. I ran for a good while, but I think I ended up stopping to walk a little over half way to the park. Disappointing. I ran a tiny bit more and then stopped in the middle of park to take a break, stretch, catch my breath. I was really lagging on the energy this morning and was and still am so sore from the last two nights that I ran. After a few minutes of resting, I continued the path back to my house, but this time I had to stop twice to walk. As I reached the beginning of my street and began to sprint towards my house, I found myself feeling kind of angry and upset at myself. The last two times I ran went really well. I ran almost all of it and I always felt accomplished at the end of it. But this morning I was frustrated. I felt like I had taken a step forward each of the last two nights, but this morning I took three steps back. I know I haven't been doing this for very long(three days? haha come on!), and the fact that I ran just last night doesn't help either. But I feel like I'm supposed to learn something from this.
Running is something that I love and hate. I hate starting out. If I haven't run for a long time, the first few times are horrible until you get into a regular rhythm and start making progress. But I love it at the same time, because eventually, I love the way it makes me feel. After getting to the point where I can run a full mile or even as much as two (people that run regularly probably think that's nothing ha) without stopping, there's this feeling I get where I push myself a little but I know I can just trust my limbs, my pumping heart, and the oxygen filling my lungs to carry me as far as I have to go. So, it's a love/hate thing. At the moment it is definitely hate until I get home and sit in front of the fan in my room and let the air cool off my body that is sticky and wet. I like that haha.
Anyway here's where I get deep, meaningful, interesting haha. In thinking about running, I realized that it's really similar to change. I'm choosing to run just like I can make decisions that will lead my life in certain directions. I may choose a path, just like I choose to run, and it's going to be uncomfortable for a while. I'm not going to enjoy it. The aches and pains from running(or the decision) will make me wonder why I am even doing it. But there is a goal at the end of it all. I know that I am not just running for something to do. I am running in order to get back in shape and to feel better physically, because being active(or not) really has an affect on that. My goal is a change. A change in my physical body which will hopefully lead me to having more energy, and maybe a better attitude or outlook. I make certain decisions for the same reason. I look at my future and think "what do I want", "where do I want to go", "what do I want to do?" The decisions I make are based off of that. Yea sometimes I will make the wrong decision, and sometimes I will have to make the really hard ones that seem like they are actually the wrong ones. But knowing that I'm a seed in the Lord's hand brings me comfort, because I know his good and perfect will will be the end result. Each day as I run, the aches and pains will ebb and flow, just like things in my life. But as I work towards a goal, I can see the change taking place. I can see the good in it all and I can see that I am doing the right thing, even though it is painful or annoying in the present.
Another thought before I sign off, I find myself wanting to just finish running, I just want to get back home. I take a break at the park each time, but this morning and even last night, I found myself taking a quick break with stretching and off down the road again. I think I've come to the conclusion that I don't need to hurry home, just to be finished. I need to be able to make it to the park and rest enough, that I can make it all the way back home without stopping. It's that resting part that I want to skip over and not pay attention too. I just want to finish. I have a task before me and as soon as I get home, I am done. But it's in that resting and waiting time that I am gearing myself up for the hard run home. (I am hoping that I will get to the point of being able to run all the way to park and back without stopping, and later to make the route two miles, but that is far off for now.) So at this point, I have to pay attention to the way I'm feeling. I need to rest and rest well in order to make it back home without stopping.
So now I continue on with my day. My stomach is empty and needs some filling. Oh and today is my parent's 28th anniversary! Hooray for them!
That's all folks.
Kris
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