What Happened?

There are a few pictures on the fridge at my house right now. Three are individual pics of my sisters and me when we were little and one more shows the three of us togther. I noticed that I looked incredibly happy and excited in these pictures. I asked my parents if I was a happy kid and they said I was. I jokingly asked what happened and my mom said it was because of the move. I instantly realized she was right. The summer before I started eighth grade, we moved from La Mirada to La Verne so my dad could take a job as associate pastor at a church in Covina. I was pissed. I did not want to move whatsoever. I felt like my parents were being selfish and not thinking of the whole family. But God called them... so you can't really argue with that. In our earlier conversation, they said that everyone suffered from the decision. The whole family suffered. WTH. My first thought was how could God have called them if all of us suffered from it? Then I started thinking realistically and without the bitterness that apparently has been clouding my mind forever. Even as I start thinking deeper about this situation, I'm left with the realization that I've been bitter all these years. Bitter towards my parents for making us leave our wonderful home, neighborhood, church family, schools and starting over with something completely new, different, and unwanted. Is this why my relationship with them has suffered so many years? Is that why I didn't want to be close to them, because I was afraid they would do something like this again?
Or maybe that's not the reason, but maybe it's the first step towards figuring out what went wrong. Regardless, things are changing with that relationship... and it's good and I like it. So mom and dad, since I know you read this, I want to say thank you. Even though everyone had a really difficult time with the move, we all grew from it. We all changed and we all have better stories because of it. I don't think I'm done healing from this. I think this is just the beginning because I didn't even realize until now that I had a deep wound. I'm not even sure what this all means, or why it's coming up now.

So this is my first step towards evaluating things of the past and figuring out what it means for me now. I feel like I am going to be learning a lot about myself in the next couple months and growing in that. It kinda freaks me out because I feel like it's going to be really hard. But I guess I'm looking forward to it at the same time.