Dear God, What Went Wrong?

Dear God, why should I think You're good in a world that's falling apart?
The flags and lies, picket signs raised high, the endless enveloping dark
Now here we sit, drifting further from You, two thousand years on their way out
Now here I am, as I've grown to know You, still haunted by my fears and my doubts

Just a man, just a vapor, just a waste of your space
All the good that I've done is in spite of myself
I'm not sure that I can look You in Your face when I finally set foot in Your kingdom

Dear God, what went wrong? We hate ourselves, we hate our brother
We so desperately want to find our way, and all You say is "love one another"

And little babies starve to death, emaciated, out of breath
Unfaithful wives make vows untrue, husbands beat them black and blue
Junkies vomit in the streets, writhing, twitching in their skin
Sell themselves to die some more, rotting from the outside in
Parents steal the innocence from their children, scared and shaking
Drink away the guilt at night, brings quiet to the endless aching
And evil men boast on TV, swimming in a sea of wealth
While misery beds honest men, and lonely people kill themselves
And everyone cries out Your name, as the world is raped by selfishness
And no one knows the way to heaven, we only know the emptiness
And the storm it rages in my heart, and the endless empty roars in my ears
My world is coming all apart, I've no strength left to dry my tears
And through it all I hear Your voice, breaking my heart, breaking my will
Calms the storm inside my soul as You whisper "peace, be still..."

You place Your hands around my heart, You quiet the emptiness in me
A king that kneels, a God made a servant, You set the captives free
You wait for me, a wretch of a man, no record of wrongs do You keep
You are comfort when I mourn, You are strength when I am weak
Jesus Christ, the king of kings
Though we ache, though we cry, never break, never die
We sing of His great love again and again
And His love reigns forever, and forevermore
Forever and ever, Amen

I Thought I posted This Thirty Minutes Ago...

Soo...
I haven't been being very nice to my body lately.
I went bowling Wednesday night after getting off work. Then I went to a friend's house and ate a bunch of ice cream and stayed up watching a movie. Then I worked the next day from 8 to 5. After work I ate dinner with my parents and then headed to a friend's house and hung out. Stayed up super late and crashed in her bed. Got up super early this morning(caught a beautiful sunrise :) ) and went back home to get ready for work. I walked out the door and headed to work. Here I am from eight to five again today. When I get home tonight, we're gunna turn around and go to a Dodgers game. And tomorrow is move in day/orientation and all that jazz. So I'll be at the school doing whatever starting at eight in the morning and probably going to late that night
Sunday, I'm planning on crashing.

I'm exhausted. Maybe I'll sleep on my lunch break.

I realized a lot about myself last night. I feel like the "real me" was showing herself. And regardless of what kind of person that is, I'm glad it happened cuz I saw what I'm really like deep down. And I realized how reserved I tend to be, how many comments, thoughts, feelings I normally hold back. And I guess it helped me to see what I need to work on. Also made me realize how often I try to act like I have everything together. When I totally don't. Oh if people only knew how messed up everyone really is.
I wish I had some paper last night to write stuff down. I probably could've gotten some sweet stuff. It probably would've been all over the place but good.

Ok time to do a project at work...
I really think I'm gunna sleep during my lunch break.

Blahh

I'm not sure why or how I get to this point.
It's kind of scary.
It makes me feel like I'll never be able to fall in love again.

I don't exactly feel like the following picture but hey, it's something to look at.