Inactivity Leads to Atrophy

There are a few things that I enjoy doing and have a desire(sorta) to do but for some reason, haven't been able to bring myself to actually do it. Whether that is working on a painting that's been sitting around forever, writing a new poem or finishing an old one, or reading a book I've been wanting to read forever. I sorta want to do it but don't. I sorta want to read a whole book of the Bible and study it, but I don't. I sorta want to write out certain experiences and the feelings behind them, but I don't. Why?? Why????? I keep asking myself that. But I don't actually do any of it. I sorta just sit around thinking about doing it. "That's lame!" (She's the Man quote...haha) And well... I picked up a book today that I have yet to read all the way through, but I browse through it every once in a while.

Joyce Meyer's "Battlefield of the Mind". A few things stuck out to me as I read.

"When a believer is inactive in any area in which he has capability or talent, that particular area begins to atrophy or become immobilized. The longer he does nothing, the less he wants to do anything."
^^true story. I've gotten this way with lots of things(as stated above). It's annoying. I just dont really want to do anything... But that is because I have been inactive. Meyer uses the example of exercise to further her point. When you have been inactive in working out, you no longer have the desire to do it. It seems hard, not worth it, etc. when you are starting out. But once you become active it gets easier and more enjoyable.

"If you desire victory over your problems, you must have backbone and not just wishbone! You must be active--not passive."
^^loved this! Backbone and not wishbone. Active not passive. So I grew a backbone today, and I painted. I didn't exactly want to. I didn't exactly know what to paint. But I decided to put that aside and do it because I know I love it. And I am happier :) haha

One more:
"You will not change your behavior until you change your thoughts."
and Romans 8:6 says
"The mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace."

Good things to think about...

That's all.

Love to you.

Words

Has not everything already been written by someone?

Have not the tales of love and disaster been penned by some stranger’s hand?

Have not the births and new beginnings been created from one person’s heart?

Have not the same adventures and dramas been expressed with ink and paper?

So what do I have to share? What can I say when I write that is so different from everything that is already out there?

That is the question I ask but know not the answer to. I wish to write and create something beautiful. Create a gathering of words that was not there before but now says something so poignant and distinct that it is one of a kind. But I know not what to write about. The desire and feelings are there, but not the words. What a terrible pity.

Connected Stories

As I am about a quarter of the way through the third book I've read in less than a week, I've come to a strange realization. If the author is a good one, he or she will create a new world in which these characters live and breathe and go about their lives, and we, the readers, are able to see this place in our mind's eye. We journey along with each character as they experience loss, love, family troubles, and whatever else befalls them. Now think about the last book you read, or maybe one you are reading right now. Do you ever find yourself connecting bits of the story with your own life? Do you ever imagine that the mother in the story is walking her dog around your neighborhood? Or that the scene of the pool party is happening in your backyard?

Maybe it's just me, but when I read books, I do this. It doesn't matter how good the author is at creating a new setting that I have never experienced. I always find a way to connect it to something I have. And what I find interesting, is that most of the time, I do not imagine things from places I am experiencing in the present. Most often, I imagine the old houses we used to live in. Or a friend's house. Or someplace I visited once. Or neighborhoods that I do not live in. I'm not even sure if this makes any sense, but it's just funny. By the end of the book, these made up characters have moved from my cousin's house in the suburbs to the house I used to live in in a quiet neighborhood, and go on vacation to a place I once visited. How weird. Does anyone else do this? Am I crazy? Either way, I think I like it. It makes me wonder about the brain and why and how it does the things it does. How it connects certain words or phrases to places we have been. Maybe it's a subconscious way that we are looking to connect with the story. If we can just bring it into our own world, our own homes, our own families, then we can more easily connect, understand, and perhaps empathize with what is going on.

White

Your love washes over me
Making me white as snow
You see only clean, pure, white
I am yours and yours alone.

Fall Food

We had a WONDERFUL dinner tonight. Pot roast. Yum. We put out a new table cloth(just a few bucks at a thrift store!) and used the china. 

 

Sooo yummmy!!

Fresh apple cider from Oak Glen!

After dinner Bre decided to make apple crisp with some of the apples we picked yesterday.

So pretty!

 Before putting the dessert in the oven, we decided to go to the parking garage to watch the sunset. It was lovelyy!

It sure has been a wonderful weekend. I am ready for fall. Even more so, I am ready for it to stop being 100 degrees and get cool! Pull out my scarves and boots. I can't wait.

Autumn Apples

The last two days have been FULL of autumny type things. Yay!

Yesterday, Mom, Dad, Bre and I headed to Oak Glen for a day. This is something we try to do every year in the fall. Normally we go in October for the pumpkins but we decided that we should go early and pick some apples! If you've never been and you like country things and picking fresh fruit, you should visit!!

The day started out with blue skies and beautiful clouds

 We stopped for lunch at the old school house. Bre collected acorns for crafty type things while the rest of us enjoyed the shade and took pictures.

The storm was coming... hence windblown hair haha

We've never seen this sign before so we had to get a picture with it.
Perhaps it will become a new tradition!

 After a long day getting in and out of the car at all the different places along the mountain, we finally picked apples! We picked spartan and gala apples.

 

 I ate one right from the tree and it was delicious. And warm. Sorta a cool thing, eating a freshly picked apple that was still warm from the sun.

After stopping at another place to use the restroom, it began to rain! And thunder and lightning!

Normally I enjoy thunderstorms, but I was scared... You're so much closer to it all when you're up on a mountain.... but the rain was lovely.

It was a long day but enjoyable with fun memories. Fall is here!

More pics of this evening to come soon!

Making Wishes

Started this sometime last week or whenever I did that shoot with Mel recently. Finally got all the kinks out tonight. I am pleased.

I choose a copper coated Lincoln

Kiss him goodbye as I send his little head sinkin

Into a fountain, down, down he goes

I threw him in and I’m the only one who knows

A small fraction of a dollar, he’s just a penny

He’s one of my hundred wishes, yea I’ve got plenty

He falls to the bottom where he lies down to rest

Of my dreams I gave him my absolute best

He sleeps there nightly in his underwater bed

He’s only holding his breath; I know he’s not dead

I gaze just for a moment at that bronze faced man

Forever he’ll hold the wish that was once held in my hand

Fall Feelings

Went to the parking garage tonight. Didn't get very good pictures but it's better than nothing. I went up there to enjoy the view and perhaps read and/or write a little... But that didn't end up happening.

 

I stared at this most of the time.

 

Occasionally turning around to look at this.



And up of course.

 

I didn't stay long.

 

Later, Mom and I went to McDonalds to get ice cream cones. And fries. Good comfort food.

 

This morning I woke up to a dark bedroom, although on any normal day it would have been bright. But turns out, that it was cloudy and rainy ish. Sadly I missed pretty much all the rain, but we still had cinnamon rolls and coffee for breakfast. Yum.

I sat outside for a while attempting to write, but pretty much just ended up listening to the music I had playing.

I walked to the store to get a couple things to make taco soup for dinner and had one of those first "fall" feelings. The changing of seasons. It was stinkin hot out, but there was something in the air that made me feel like fall was near. Maybe the placement of the sun for the time of the day. Perhaps the clouds. Who knows. But it was lovely. And I can't wait for it to get sorta sunny California cold so I can wear jeans and scarves and hats. Woo.

 

 

My Experiences Are Shaping My Future

So I was looking through some old pictures and felt like sharing the following. Each one is from a key part of my life, or just a particular day that I love, or even one that I hope to have again in the future. (They are all from a year or two ago so nothing recent, really.)They all take me back to that moment, and each one helps to make up who I am, what I love, where I've been, and what I long for.

 

May 2011: In Kenya, on a safari.

 When I think of my time in Kenya, the first thing that comes to mind is "life changing". When I see this picture and my expression and body language, I think "bliss". I think of how much I loved that place.

July 2010: At a friend's house in Oregon.

I don't know who took this picture but I love it because it captures the fun of that evening. (Or at least it reminds me of it)The boys were climbing the tree and the rest of us were just having fun. That summer screams "freedom" to me. Free and fun and full of hope.

Summer 2010: At the Portland Saturday Market with my sister. 

The Saturday Market is one of the coolest, "out there", smelly(in good ways and bad), artsy, creatively wonderful places I have experienced. Sadly we only went once, but it was wonderful. Portland just seems to me "whatever you want it to be" or "whoever you want to be". People are so weird but chill up there. I just love it.

October 2010: Day at the beach with Ignite friends 

 Alyssa snapped this as I ran on the beach. I loved this day. There was a lovely sunset, and I really felt God's presence. I decided to run back to where the group was and it felt so exhilerating! When I see this pic, it just screams "free" to me. It also makes me think of my time in Ignite as a whole, which I see as "transformation".

May 2011: Kenya

 I just love this picture and even more so, this day. Each of us had one, two, or even three kids hanging on us as we walked as a huge group to an open field. There we played games, volleyball(best game ever), girls got their hair braided. This is where I witnessed a young girl split one tiny candy into three parts so her two friends could enjoy it with her. This is where I laughed as the girls were surrounded by at least six children each, as their hair was pulled in multiple directions. And this is where we played the most fun volleyball game ever with a bunch of Kenyan men. I love it.

2009?? Warner Pacific College, Portland, Oregon.

 I can't remember what year it was but this was the second time we visited this school. The first time was two years before(I think??) when Bre was looking at colleges. Not sure on the time. Whenever it was that we first visited the school, I loved it. I felt at home there. The second time I went, it was for me to check it out. It still felt good, and I was accepted but I chose to do the Ignite program instead. But here I am three years later... and I still think about it. I still dream of what it would be like to go there and do their Urban Studies program, in Portland. When I think of going to Warner I think "opportunity" and "making my dreams a reality"... It scares me but excites me just the same.

Dec 2010: River of Refuge Project, Kansas City, Missouri.

I love this picture because it shows me doing work! We were helping a church transform an old hospital into apartment buildings for underprivileged families. As you can tell we were still in the very early stages, but they've come a long way in the last year and a half. I think back to KC and I think "experience". This was my first real missions trip and I think of it fondly. It was an experience working in the city with people and for people that are hurting and need hope.

Each of these experiences have helped shape me into the person I am today. A lot has happened since the most recent of these photos(May 2011) that have also done a work on me, but I am still sorting through these things and trying to learn from them. Right now I look at these older photos and I realize how they have shaped me and how they are going to shape my future. Whether I'm working in Portland, serving in the inner city somewhere in the midwest, or spreading God's hope to people of other nations, each of these passions will guide me further into God's plan for me.

A Taste of Kenya

I met a man at a bible study in Wisconsin this summer. He shared that his son and daughter in law were going to Kenya for six months(I think). I asked him about it and he shared their blog with me, and every so often I check and see what they are up too. You can see read their blog here if you are interested. They posted this video a while ago, but I wanted to post it here because it so captures what life in Kenya is like. I love it. (Apparently, I posted the video including their playlist, you can watch them but I only meant for the first one to play. Sorry bout that)



The music, dancing, sights, skies, beautiful people. This really is a great video of life in Nairobi, Kenya and the surrounding areas.
1:05, definitely used a "toilet" like that a couple times. I'm pretty sure that I went down the streets in the driving scenes. It looks so familiar. The glass soda bottles at 4:24 ish and the meat hanging at 4:30... it seems like such a long time ago, but I can still remember it clear as day.