"I didn't want to get well, because if I got well, nobody would come and save me anymore. And I didn't want to get well, because while I could not control my happiness, I could control my misery, and I would rather have had control than live in the tension of what if. A chance of hope is no pacifier against a sure tragedy."
--Donald Miller
This quote is too true.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Peace Please
I wrote this earlier today... not sure how I feel about it now.
Kinda just ranting a teeny bit or something.
I could use some of the Lord's peace right now.
Yes please.
Yes please.
10/13/11
I refrain
From speaking
Aloud
Simple words
My own thoughts
Betray me
Not sure
What I want
Stop
Just stop
Bring peace
Bring peace
Bring comfort
Bring stability
Bring peace inside this chaotic thing called me
But who am I?
Who is the “me” that I speak of?
Do I really know her?
Does she really know me?
There’s a constant sense of urgency
Anxiety dwells there as well
Mind going all the time
I just want your peace to consume me
Until I feel nothing but you
And your never ending love
Intimacy with God
Donald Miller is a genius. Here is his latest Blog post.
http://donmilleris.com/2011/10/11/intimacy-with-god-comes-when-we-accept-his-kindness/
Or you can just read it below...
Each work morning I read a bit of the Bible. I don’t study it, I just read it. It’s my morning coffee and conversation with a power greater than myself. It centers me and without it I think I’d be distracted at work, distracted by a bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter. This morning I was reading through Psalm 7. There’s a humble thought in the Psalm where David asks God to “trample his life to the ground and lay his soul in the dust” if he has ever screwed over a friend or an ally.
David was a dramatic guy. He was a passionate leader, or at least a passionate writer (something tells me he was a bit more sober in person as passion inspires but leadership needs to be measured). Regardless, the thought occurred to me that we often need to pray against ourselves.
I was taking communion a few weeks ago in Nashville, at one of my favorite churches. My friend Jim Chaffee happened to be delivering communion that day and as I stood in line to go forward, I prayed about what to pray. Literally, I asked God what He wanted me to say to Him as I took communion. I don’t normally do this, but I thought it would be a fun way to connect with God, to just talk to Him during the process as opposed to only remembering Him.
Anyway, what came to my mind was just a simple phrase: “Christ, defeat me with your goodness.” I liked the phrase because it meant God was good and I was not, and yet He would not defeat me with His anger or His wrath, but His kindness, His grace and His goodness. I like to think the phrase came from God, but that’s not provable. We do know God’s kindness brings us to repentance, though.
Another truth in that statement is there are very real desires in me and real ambitions that are not good. Some of the actions that stem from my personality are selfish, and damaging to others. They are manipulative and lack truth and so stifle relationships. These characteristics must be defeated because God wants His family to be close, and so each of us must be defeated by God, by God’s kindness. His kindness endears me to a personal commitment to tell the truth, into the thrill and humiliation and generosity of that very risky place where we walk into the world saying “I’m not too much and I’m not too little but this is who I am” and also that “there but for the grace of God go I.”
So here we are, temporary beings, with little to do but navigate our days in truth and humility. Perhaps it not the bigness of our personalities, but our smallness, our selves being defeated that will change the little bit of world God has appointed to us for caretaking. We connect with God when we ask Him to defeat in us all the ways in which He cannot connect, all the untruth and games and manipulation and we come to Him finally saying, okay, I get it, you really are good, defeat in me the lack of faith, let your goodness rid me of the stuff that doesn’t connect with you or the world around me.
http://donmilleris.com/2011/10/11/intimacy-with-god-comes-when-we-accept-his-kindness/
Or you can just read it below...
Each work morning I read a bit of the Bible. I don’t study it, I just read it. It’s my morning coffee and conversation with a power greater than myself. It centers me and without it I think I’d be distracted at work, distracted by a bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter. This morning I was reading through Psalm 7. There’s a humble thought in the Psalm where David asks God to “trample his life to the ground and lay his soul in the dust” if he has ever screwed over a friend or an ally.
David was a dramatic guy. He was a passionate leader, or at least a passionate writer (something tells me he was a bit more sober in person as passion inspires but leadership needs to be measured). Regardless, the thought occurred to me that we often need to pray against ourselves.
I was taking communion a few weeks ago in Nashville, at one of my favorite churches. My friend Jim Chaffee happened to be delivering communion that day and as I stood in line to go forward, I prayed about what to pray. Literally, I asked God what He wanted me to say to Him as I took communion. I don’t normally do this, but I thought it would be a fun way to connect with God, to just talk to Him during the process as opposed to only remembering Him.
Anyway, what came to my mind was just a simple phrase: “Christ, defeat me with your goodness.” I liked the phrase because it meant God was good and I was not, and yet He would not defeat me with His anger or His wrath, but His kindness, His grace and His goodness. I like to think the phrase came from God, but that’s not provable. We do know God’s kindness brings us to repentance, though.
Another truth in that statement is there are very real desires in me and real ambitions that are not good. Some of the actions that stem from my personality are selfish, and damaging to others. They are manipulative and lack truth and so stifle relationships. These characteristics must be defeated because God wants His family to be close, and so each of us must be defeated by God, by God’s kindness. His kindness endears me to a personal commitment to tell the truth, into the thrill and humiliation and generosity of that very risky place where we walk into the world saying “I’m not too much and I’m not too little but this is who I am” and also that “there but for the grace of God go I.”
So here we are, temporary beings, with little to do but navigate our days in truth and humility. Perhaps it not the bigness of our personalities, but our smallness, our selves being defeated that will change the little bit of world God has appointed to us for caretaking. We connect with God when we ask Him to defeat in us all the ways in which He cannot connect, all the untruth and games and manipulation and we come to Him finally saying, okay, I get it, you really are good, defeat in me the lack of faith, let your goodness rid me of the stuff that doesn’t connect with you or the world around me.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Fools
I've been listening to She and Him radio on Pandora at work the last two days, and I can't get enough!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
You Really Got A Hold On Me
This song has been stuck in my head all day long... Hopefully this makes it stop Haha
Saturday, October 1, 2011
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